And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
