He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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