sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
