I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
