you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
