this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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