She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
