he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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