i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
