belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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