sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
