I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Me. At least after what I've been through.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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