Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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