We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
