You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
