fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
