do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize