There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
they need to just BURY HIM!
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
