You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
