Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
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It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
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My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
We had sex on a dog bed..
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
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