You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize