Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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