I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
