so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
