goodnight i made you a song goodbye
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
