Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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