let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
