Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
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