I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
