Pappa wants mamma naked
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
