Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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