Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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