Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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