He is an equal opportunity slut.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
