Already got asked if we're dating
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The struggles of a small town man whore
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
