Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
