So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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