More tranny stories later!
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
