I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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