There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
