bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
4 words: hood of his car
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
