it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
so let's talk penis.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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