UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
