i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
