I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I am available for nakedness
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
