dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
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