Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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