Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
