She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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