Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
