I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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