How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
