somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
