dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come share oat with me in your robe
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize