Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
