Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Small penises have feelings too.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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