so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
