Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
