i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize