Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
