OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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