just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
