I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
