Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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