u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
